Tuesday, 17 April 2018

#15, #29 & #31: Sexual Preferences Versus Phobias


            SM and I began swinging in Miami, which, unlike the rest of Florida, is a very diverse city. Despite this diversity, I found that I was sexually attracted to Caucasian and Latino cisgendered women exclusively.  SM on the other hand was attracted to both sexes and all races. This sexual preference led me to examine my views on race and tolerance. I have no racial, sexual or gender prejudices in my vanilla life and was concerned for a while that my sexual preferences were a by-product of some lingering intolerance. After some self-reflection, I came to a few conclusions:


  1. I did not find black-women sexually attracting. I could recognize the beauty they possessed, but did not want to fuck them. More on this later.
  2. I was intolerant to those cultures that did not, in my world view, accept women as equals. This oppression is most often expressed though religion and the control of women’s clothing and bodies. When your religion allows a man to wear shorts and a t-shirt and she must be covered head to toe, I consider your religion to be intolerant. As such, I cannot trust in a swinging scenario that she is participating of her own free will. As such, I was not sexually attracted to women of middle-east descent sexually desirable.
  3. I was not transphobic or homophobic, but the idea of playing with anyone who was not genetically female was not appealing to me. I felt bad for bisexual men in the swinger world as their bisexuality is not tolerated to the same degree as female bisexuality. More on transphobia later.
  4. Despite the fetish, I never found Asian women to be sexually desirable. What I have come to realize is that I live women with round asses and full breasts, a trait not generally associated with women of Asian descent.


This apparent mismatch between my core belief in equality and my apparently intolerant sexual preferences would bother me for some time. The walls first crumbled with our 15th lover, Ron and Tanya. Ron and Tanya were a black couple from Miami and my first real experience outside my ‘comfort zone.’ From playing with them, I realized the cultural aspects that were preventing me from enjoying new sexual adventures. First, the black couples we had met to this point were led by men who wanted to experience more sexual variety with their spouse’s permission. While this is a gross oversimplification, it describes my swinger interaction with black women – they were reluctant participants.


Ron and Tanya were unlike any we had met.  They were deeply in love, unabashedly affectionate with each other and clear in their desire to get to know SM and me better. In the end, I realized that what I need is excitement and energy form my play partner as well as confidence in the sanctity of their relationship. If I get any impression that she is less than a highly willing participant in the adventure, I lose all sexual attraction. This has resulted in limited opportunities with Slavic or Baltic women as, culturally, many of them defer to their partner and do not provide me with the level of sexual energy I need. I apologize if this is a gross oversimplification.


Our 31st lover held a special place in my…ummm…heart. In my younger days, I worked in Bosnia and Croatia and fell in love with the tall, shapely women of that region. You see, I am 6’3” (190cm) and rarely encounter women of my height. When I do, I am instantly aroused. My experience with Slavic and Baltic women, was tainted by the men they were associated with. These men were, IMHO, controlling, domineering and possessive. However, when we met Kiki and Peter in Edmonton, Alberta, we hit it off immediately. There was some language issues, but it was clear they were in love and were anxious to get to know SM and me. In all honesty, I think we talked for about 20 minutes before we were in the back area playing. Kiki and I were all over each other. She was about 3 inches taller than Peter and enjoyed a lover who made her, at 5’11” feel small and sheltered. I was in a seated position and Kiki was straddling me. With my cock buried in her, we were face to face. After riding me near to the point of no return, Kiki took her hands from behind my neck, dug them into my chest and rubbed them in circles saying, in her broken English, “So Big.” To this day, “So Big” is an inside joke between SM and I.


The final lover, who brought down all my walls was Mary, our 29th lover. We met Mary at a swingers club in Edmonton, Alberta and I was instantly attracted to her long legs. With 2 inch heels, she was an inch taller than me. I loved the fact that she made no attempt to hide her height. I approached her while SM was off talking to mutual acquaintances. She was hesitant, yet eager. It confused me at first. I chalked it up to her either seeing me as a single male or concerned that SM would not agree with my pick. When SM returned from the restroom, she and Mary hit it off.


Mary excused herself to go to the restroom and SM looked at me and said, Mary is not a biological woman. I was floored. It could not be. She was shapely, erotic and everything I desired in a woman. When Mary returned, I looked for the clues and had a hard time recognizing them. I was in lust, how could this be. I was touching her on the leg and she was responding like every woman I had been with. I excused myself to use the rest room and when I came back, SM told me, with Mary in tow, that she was right and I would play with the ‘top half’ and SM would play with the ‘bottom half.’  She read my attraction right. The walls were coming down.


I don’t know the proper terminology, but Mary had large shapely breasts, but still had a penis. I was inwardly concerned that this was going to be a huge turnoff for me. However, I could not reconcile this anticipated turn-off with the sensuality she possessed that was turning me on.  When she undressed, I was in heaven staring at her gorgeous breasts (implants, obviously), the slight curve of her hips and high and tight ass. When I saw her penis, I was neither aroused, nor was I turned off. 


While making out with Mary and watching SM ride her, it hit me like a proverbial ton of bricks, I was attracted to Mary. Her genitals happened to be a penis, but she was a woman and I desired her...full stop. She was a woman with a dick, not a man with tits.  I know this is obvious to many, but to me it was an epiphany which enabled me to reconcile my complete lack of homosexual/bisexual desires with my lust for this woman. With that realization out of the way, I did what I do with all lovers, and touched her genitals and fucked her. It was marvellous. While I did not suck her penis, I am confident that I could have. Not from a desire to suck dick, but from a desire to pleasure my sexual partner.

So, there you have it dear reader, I no longer have any sexual hang-ups…except that my partner must identify as a woman, have a shape I like, and most of all, be desirous of my attention and actively reciprocate. I don’t think that is too much to ask in the end.


Mr. No Name

Wednesday, 11 April 2018

#14: Exhibitionism

SM and I began swinging out of a desire to be exhibitionists. We had heard of Hedonism from a vanilla acquaintance and were intrigued by the idea that there was a play that we could have sexy in a public place surrounded by like-minded individuals and free from persecution and prosecution. While Hedonism has yet to happen, it led us to discover Swingers clubs. While living in Miami, Miami Velvet (Google it, it is amazing) became our regular haunt.  It is here that we met Lisa and Gilbert, who would become regular play partners. In Lisa and Gilbert, we found our equals when it came to exhibitionism. Together, we explored 6somes, 8somes, gagging, choking, MMF, FFM, and a host of things I do not know the name for – always in an open area for a gathered crowd to watch. I would like to recount my favourite exhibitionist moment.

Miami velvet has a raised stage adjacent to the dancefloor, often used for special events (pole dance competitions, etc). When not in use, it is lined with seating that can be used by the patrons. See below for images.


The stage can just be seen on the left side of this photo

The Stage proper with seating along the back


On the night in question, SM, Lisa, Gilbert and I were relaxing on the elevated couches and enjoying each other’ company. Now is probably a good time to mention that I am a passionate lover, especially in the early stages of a relationship. I have little restraint and tend to make out with a new partner like a high school boy – but with better technique. Lisa responded well to this approach and we were quickly into heavy petting. After a few moments, Lisa moves off the couch and on to her knees between my legs.  She undid my pants, removed my cock and began sucking it deeply and with a lot of spit – just how I love a blowjob. Her positioning and my burgeoning erection made my pants uncomfortable, so when she stopped to breathe, I stood up. Lisa took this as a challenge and re-attacked with vigour. While I like to devote my full attention to my partner, I became aware of the fact that we were in the main part of the club and the dancefloor was packed.  I took a moment and looked up at the assembled crowd.  This is what I saw.


While not an actual picture from the night in question, it is indicative of the view from a stage on a busy night.


The thought of around 200 sexy swingers watching the show we were putting on might have been enough to make some blanche, but for Lisa and I it was fuel on our fire.  We continued to put on our show. I had planned to stop soon so as to save my orgasm for later that night, but there was no turning back now. The crowd was into it, I was in ecstasy and Lisa was loving putting on a show. We followed the blowjob to its natural conclusion with Lisa swallowing my seed after making a show of long tendrils of cum stretching from my cock to her mouth and down her chin. I was vaguely aware of a smattering of applause as my knees buckled under sensory overload.

To this day, when we get the orientation tour of a swingers club and we are told that sexual activity is restricted to the back area, I cannot help by remember that moment and feel a little pang of disappointment.

Mr. No Name

Monday, 26 March 2018

#32, #36, and #38 - On Mentoring

“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.” — John Crosby

This past weekend the list grew to 38 and I will cover that encounter in the fullness of time. Today, I wanted to say a few words on mentorship. I work in a field that relies heavily on mentorship to grow the leaders of tomorrow. We are so adept at it that we are sought out for our mentorship program separate from our core business. In my work life, I invest my time heavily in mentoring those subordinate to me; therefore, it is only natural that it would bleed over into my personal life. In this case, I am talking about Veronique, my 32nd sexual partner.

We met Veronique about 4 months ago when she attended an event at our local Swinger’s Club. It was during a chance encounter at the bar that we found out it was her first time ever at a Swingers Club and she had no experience or point of reference for swinging.  She knew it was a kinky sex club and she wanted excitement after her divorce. I invited her to talk with SM and I. Conversation revealed she was there alone, had spent most of the night alone (it was approaching 12 AM) and had only the vaguest notion of how things worked.  We gave her a crash course in Swinging dynamics and lingo.

During this conversation, she revealed that she had led a very vanilla life (now that she knew the tern to use) and was wanting more. She wanted to explore her bisexuality as well. This was a perfect cue for SM to offer her the opportunity. After bit of light petting in the front of the club, we asked Veronique to join us in the back to participate at her own pace / comfort level. The night ended with an awesome threesome, the highlight of which was fucking Veronique doggie style while she went down on SM.

The story could have ended here, but after popping her swinger cherry, we felt a moral obligation to continue to help her navigate the muddied swinger waters. We knew she had a lot to learn when she emailed us from her work account to thank us for a great first time. Since that time, we have played with her and a boy-toy she brought to the club (#36). This encounter was a lesson in boundaries for her. She and her boy-toy had to decide on their level of comfort playing considering this was what amounted to a first date for them. In the end, we played as a 4 / 6 some (a story for another day) and her relationship ended.

To round out her education, we brought her to a house-party this last weekend. Before attending, I laid out the basic ground rules as I saw them. 1) She was always free to play with SM and I and any partners we may end up with, so long as she had their permission (who in their right mind would deny a cute little French unicorn???), and 2) she was free to play with whomever she hooked up with, without fear of ‘hurting’ SM and I. After introducing her to a few people and her meeting a few others she had met previously, I lost track of Veronique. When I found her next, she was being eaten out by a gentleman while kissing and fondling another woman (not the gentleman’s spouse). I caught her eye, gave her a big smile and moved on.

SM and I moved on to what would become a bucket list item for me. We played with the other Unicorn at the party. The interesting thing was that this woman was 6”1’ without heels and a fall 6”3’ with heels. With heels, I looked her straight in the eyes and did not have to bend in the slightest to kiss her. This was a first for me and it left me as giddy as a school girl.

Lest you think me too arrogant (something I am often accused of), I am not without my own mentors. I will not mention the early ones, as I will cover them as I discuss our swinging encounters. However, my most recent mentor is a gentleman who goes by the title of Southern Swinger (SS). I cannot link to his old Blog from this computer, but he and I have begun an email correspondence. SS is a wealth of knowledge and has helped me in managing feelings of rejection, dealing out rejection and dealing with drunk swingers. If you do not have a mentor in this grand adventure we call swinging, I encourage you to find one.  I am always happy to give advice and guidance, but nothing beats a true mentor.


Mr. No Name

Wednesday, 21 March 2018

#37: The List Grows and Boundaries Change

Dear Readers, I have been very busy lately.  I am doing the work of two with the pay of one - the joys of being a salaried employee. So, as the saying goes, I have been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking competition. I just wanted to drop you all this little note to let you know that the list has grown to 37 after our fist house party experience.  We are going back this week-end so we will see if the count continues to climb.

The house party also brought another first. We played with the host couple but were unable to finish due to their guilt around their hosting duties. As we were saying our goodbye's the hostess and I got into a heavy make out session. SM was tired and ready to go home, but acknowledged my desire to play.  As such shoe gave me a 5 minute window with the hostess to play.  Playing alone is not new for us, but the intensity of this timeline was new, as was the intensity of the passion. 

The hostess and I fell on each other and immediately and with a frenzy. She kept saying fuck me now. I pulled up her dress and pulled down my pants. My pants had barely cleared my ass when she grabbed my cock and guided it into her.  I knew intellectually that I should have a condom on, but the intensity of the situation overcame me (not an excuse, just the reality of the situation).  I fucked her quickly and with vigor.  I had enough wherewithal to tell her I was about to cum and wanted to cum on her. She encouraged it and with a few final thrusts, I pulled out and came on her stomach...and tits... and dress, and chin... and a bit in her hair. I was so absorbed in what felt like and endless stream of my own ejaculation that I failed to realize that my crotch was getting very wet.  I looked down and the hostess was squirting a large volume all over the crotch of my pants - which never made it far past my scrotum.

I told SM on the way home that I did not use a condom and she was not particularly phased.  I know we are walking a slippery slope, and I do not intend to go condom free, but my God was it intense and amazing. This was two weeks ago and I have had no itching, discolouration or any other symptoms.  I know this is not freedom and I will need to get tested...but damn it I felt like my real and primal self.

Well, that update was a bit longer than I intended, and I should probably rename this post to #37 (just did that). the intensity of the encounter in likely apparent in my writing...I am hammering on the keyboard as hard as I hammered her...I hope my spelling is up to par, because I do not have time to correct it.

Mr. No Name

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

#13: S&M, Squirting and Pumpernickel – Where We Learn About Boundaries

My 13th sexual encounter was an ‘interesting’ experience. SM and I were at Miami Velvet, having a good time dancing and being exhibitionists and generally enjoying life.  We did not make any immediate connections on the dancefloor, so decided to proceed into the couple’s room for some one on one playtime. Things began as expected, with Sm and I playing together in a room full of people.  As things got hot and heavy, a couple slid in beside us and asked if they could join us. A look was enough for SM and I to say “ok.”
Things began with the four of us playing together, but quickly paired off into swap partners. I went down on Brandy and she squirmed with pleasure. She then laid me back and went down on me. She used a lot of teeth (in a sexy way) during her blow job and dug her nails into my chest, stomach and thighs. I pulled out to save my cock before it look like a naked mole rat in a blender. She told me to get a condom and fuck her doggie style – I happily obliged.  As I fucked her, I noticed her ass was black, blue and shades of purple from slapping - yet she kept asking me to slap her harder and harder.
We changed into missionary and continued to play.  She asked me to choke her.  As soon as my hand restricted her air flow, I felt her bear down, pushing my cock out with her Kegel muscles and a flood of wetness running down my legs.  I knew – academically – what squirting was, but this was my first experience making a woman squirt. It was hot, sexy and I was hooked. With a condom on, I was unable to cum and we switched back to our spouses to finish off – this is before I discovered the joys of finishing on a woman’s chest or ass or face or where ever she wants me to finish.
The couple left shortly afterwards and SM told me her side of the story. Brad had given her the safe word “Pumpernickel” to use. She knew – academically - the purpose of a safe word, but was a bit shocked that 1) he would assign her a safe word – it should be hers to choose and 2) he would give her one without negotiating what was to happen. She was na├»ve to S&M at the time and went with it.  She enjoyed a bit of light ass slapping and hair pulling, but switched to riding him when it became too much. When on top of him, he bit her breast and she squealed and told him “pumpernickel.” At this point he lost his hard-on and we switched back to spouses. 
All in all, it was a learning experience for me. I have continued to dabble in BDSM – to please my partner rather than as my own kink – but I am naturally dominate, so it was not a great shift for me. For SM, she learned that she does not like rough play beyond a little slapping, hair pulling and airway constriction. The issue continues to crop up in our swinging life as swingers, as compared to BDSM persons are not good at setting out boundaries for play. I am of the opinion that kink should not be introduced without prior agreement, but am guilty of ass slapping and light hair pulling without prior consent.  Then again, ass slapping and light hair pulling is pretty vanilla in the world of BDSM.  Mr. AP, I sure could use some reasoned input here from you.
Mr. No Name

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

# 12 – Damn I’m Good – Another Convert

My twelfth lover is one of my favourite stories; it was a true conversion. I met Ms. Blue on a training course for work. She was fun flirty and commanded the room with her presence. I locked on to some innocuous reason to e-mail her after the course had finished. That email let to a string of many more. As the email moved in a sexual direction, I suggested we switch to personal emails to avoid any issues with Big Brother watching. With the move to private emails accomplished, the tone ramped up.  Mostly “never have I ever” type of stuff, which turned into “this is what I have done.”

I could tell the Ms. Blue was interested in the sexual nature of our discussions, but was concerned that I was just another guy cheating on his wife. I assured her I was not and invited her to our house to meet SM and learn our secret. It was a pleasant conversation where explained we were swingers, SM was bisexual and what swinging entailed. We did not directly ask her if she was interested, but the type and volume of questions she asked told me she was interested. I knew we had a convert when later that evening she when us a picture of her very damp panties and told us that our conversation had made so wet that she had to go home and relieve herself. A simple reply that we would be happy to help her in the future sealed the deal.

Soon after, she and her some came to our home for a sleepover. That night we had a soft swap in our bedroom where she sucked my cock while SM when down on her. It was SM’s period, so play was limited. At this point in our swinging ‘career’ we did not have enough experience or confirm for SM to let me play without her or with her participating in a limited manner (that would change shortly). The night ended with a fabulous double blowjob that brought me to a rocketing climax.

A few weeks later, we brought Ms. Blue to Miami Velvet. She and SM tore up the dance floor and the entire night was a series of teasing and pleasing. The night ended in the couple’s playroom in a 5-some with another couple. The highlight for me was having Ms. Blue ride my cock cowgirl style while SM sat on my face and made out with Ms. Blue. When I could not climax with a condom, the ladies switched places and SM rode me bareback.  While I could not see the scene due to my view being … ummmm…. blocked, I still imagine what we wold have looked like to the assembled masses. We literally received applause when I pulled out and Sm jerked me to climax and she and Ms. Blue lapped up the resulting explosion.

As a nightcap, when the three of us returned to our home (She and her son were again spending the night), we carried on playing in our guestroom – it was well removed from the other bedroom and permitted more noise. Shortly into our Round 2, SM had a pounding headache and insisted Ms. Blue and I continue. We happily obliged. I was experiencing condom issues again and Ms. Blue told me to take it off.  It is not something I would normally do, but she was fixed and not sexually active outside out triad. I fucked her – missionary, doggie style, cowgirl, hair pulling, ass slapping - until she was a dishevelled mess.

I crawled into bed with SM and, as is our way, fucked her again – my third orgasm of the night. We have an understanding where she will always be my last fuck of the night.  It is our way of reconnecting after all of the debauchery of the night.  There have been few exceptions to this rule and usually caused by extreme fatigue or SM’s absence when I travel.


Mr. No Name

P.S. I am about to begin a busy period at work and my ability to post will be reduced. Hang in there dear reader; I have more to tell.

Monday, 26 February 2018

#11: The One Handed Handjob

My 11th lover was a unique situation. It was one of our few successful swinger dating scenarios.  We was Monique and David’s profile on Swing Lifestyle website and began chatting with them.  Within a few days, we agreed to meet at a swinger friendly bar north of Miami.  On arrival, we ordered drinks and settled in to chat.  There was instant sparks between Monique and I, she has the physique I love - on the larger side of “normal” but with a solid physique underneath.  She was curvy in the hips and chest and best described as “fleshy”. She has a sensuality of personality to match her body. I was in immediate lust.  It was during our goodbye kiss that I noticed someth8ng out of the ordinary - Monique had only one hand.  It was neither a shock nor a turn-off, nor was it a specific turn-on (there is a fetish for that).  I was sim0ly surprised that I had gone the entire evening without noticing....she kept it behind her purse of tucked in a jacket.

We agreed to meet at a hotel (another first for us) as they were of a profession that demanded discretion and did not feel comfortable at a swingers club.  When the night arrived, SM and I booked the hotel room and met them on arrival.  We were still new enough to swinging that the transition from drinks and chat to sexy time was a bit awkward.  Nevertheless the deed proceeded like so many others: girl on girl for warm-up, men behind their ladies as they play then pairing off with new partners.  This is where the playbook changed a bit.

Normally, the oral portion of the program is a precursor to the main event.  However, Monique was no ordinary woman.  While SM was being eaten out by David, Monique had me stand on the floor beside the bed.  She dropped to her knees and devoured my cock. I do not know where her other arm was but between her good hand and her mouth, she gave me one on the best blow-jobs I have ever had.  I had intended to pull out and move on to sex, but she knew I was approaching the point of no return.  I told her I was about to cum and she expertly pulled my cock out of her mouth and with one hand jerked me to climax on her georgous, fleshy DD cup tits.

I got a drink, while she cleaned herself and rallied back for another fuck.  While I did not cum a second time, I did not stop until I was sure she was sexually sated.  We kissed goodnight later that evening and SM and I enjoyed the hotel room. We played with David and Monique a few more times,  but nothing would top our first time.

On another note, the list grew by one this past weekend.

Mr. No Name

#15, #29 & #31: Sexual Preferences Versus Phobias

              SM and I began swinging in Miami, which, unlike the rest of Florida, is a very diverse city. Despite this diversity, I fo...